At long last, we have been blessed with the possibility of an actual snowstorm- Snowstorm Stella. Winter 2016/2017 has been one of the mildest winters on record, but alas! March 2017 is proving to be the most fickle month ever. I have become accustomed to not putting too much faith into previous winter’s behavior. Every year we get hotter and hotter and the seasons become less and less. Continue reading “How to have a Stella-r Snow Day”
Mondays are truly the worst! After a relaxing weekend of mimosa sipping and t.v. watching, having to get up, get dressed, and put on a bra is just too much to ask sometimes. Yesterday was no exception.
As a communications professional, I spend 90% of my time staring off into the nether webs of information and cat videos. Despite managing multiple department websites and social media platforms, I all too often find myself bored beyond belief. It may be shocking to find out, but updating a website and posting to Facebook and Twitter does not, in fact, take up 8 hours of the day.
<insert multiple “shocked” gifs here>
Oh hell, here’s one.
So, what do I do on these days where my mind never ceases to wander, and I am left daydreaming of what I should be doing had I become the independently wealthy philanthropist I thought I would be by now?
I make fictitious wine bottle labels for my fictitious vineyard. I would sell these bottles in my fictitious wine bar that is located in my very real neighborhood. The wine bar would also be located next to my fictitious vintage clothing and home decor store. When I daydream, I go full lifestyle brand.
At 5:45 am, Saturday morning, I laid awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. My body was apparently ready to get going. So, that’s what I did. I got up and made my way to Baltimore’s Pennsylvania Station to board the MARC train to Union Station with 6 other friends. Three of them brand new to me that morning. We stood outside in the dreary rain mist for two and a half hours waiting to board a train. Continue reading “I marched, now what?”
Mother’s Day has totally snuck up on me. I know, it’s this Sunday so technically there’s still time for a last-minute gift. However, I am more of a two weeks out planner, but I was just now able to get the materials for this succulent planter. I honestly don’t even know if my mom likes succulents. I know she likes plants, so I’m just going to go with it. Continue reading “Be on Trend- Give Your Mom a Succulent Planter for Mother’s Day”
Ah, the holiday shopping season’s last minute craze has officially begun. Stores are emailing you every hour about last minute sales and new inventory additions. Facebook is a virtual shopping circulator with all the ads that are popping up and following you from your recent Google searches. Continue reading “Shopping the Anthropologie Gift Guide”
Pinterest is full of crafty crap like this. Time suck crafts that never turn out looking like the image and bring your self-esteem down. Continue reading “5 Things I Saw On Pinterest That I Don’t Understand”
There is a saying that “Idle hands are the devil’s playground”. I would like to amend that saying and add “Idle hands in possession of a smartphone with the Pinterest app on it are the devil’s playground”. Continue reading “5 Things I Saw on Pinterest that I REALLY REALLY Want”
When the COO asks me to “social media” a picture.
This past Sunday, Target released it’s hotly anticipated spring collaboration with the brightly colored Lilly Pulitzer brand. The brand best known for it’s shrill color schemes and prints reminiscent of lava lamp matter quickly became a trending hashtag (#LillyforTarget). Normal retail prices for Lilly Pulitzer range from $38 for a tee shirt (that from what I can tell, doesn’t do anything at all) to $298 for a shift dress that Betty Draper might wear next week on Mad Men. There’s also something called Luxletic, that seems to be athletic inspired wear that you put on when you want the clerks at Whole Foods to notice the tan you just paid for.
Now, I have nothing against the Lilly Pulitzer brand — if you want to go around looking like the physical manifestation of someone’s acid trip, so be it, but the connotation that I get from Lilly Pulitzer is “elitist”. If the garish prints don’t scare you away, the snide remarks from the people wearing it will. But, if you are still undeterred, then you were probably among the
few many who stood outside of Target stores across the country, waiting for the trembling sales associates to unlock the door.
Or, maybe you were among the other
crazy completely normal people who just stayed up until 3am to order items online. Want to know what I was doing at 3am Sunday morning? Well, I honestly don’t remember because I spent the day drinking watching horse racing at Pimlico. I took in enough Lilly Pulitzer to last a lifetime while I was there, thankyouverymuch.
Snark aside, I think it’s awesome that Target has these collections every year. There’s no way I could afford to buy anything from Templerly of London, Phillip Lim, Zac Posen, or Prabal Gurung any other way. But, dammit Target, get your shit together. When everything in the store is sold out within 5 minutes, there is a huge problem with the current system. When your website crashes, multiple times, within half an hour, there is a problem. You should know this by now. You’ve had years of practice at this. Like the wise Maya Angelou said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better”. I’m fairly certain I saw that bedazzled on a crop top in the Juniors section there.
The simple fact that the plus size collection was only available online is enough to piss me off. It’s already hard enough for people to find plus sized clothing that doesn’t look like drapes Scarlett O’Hara sewed together. You couldn’t even make the items available in the store? And how many society girl tears have to be shed before some buying limits are put in place? People have already flocked to eBay with their Lilly for Target spoils and marked up prices. Miss out on the $60 beach chairs? You can get them for $500 here. This shift dress is now available for over double the price here. Need it in plus size? It’s over two and a half times the original price.
It’s not hard to say “Limit two per customer”. The grocery store says it all the time! For all you fashion masochists who are truly scarred, you can see all you missed out on here.
One good thing that has happened throughout this lurid, printed fiasco is that I have reignited my passion for lawn sports. Croquet anyone?
As you all know, Mad Men is ending and the world will soon there after implode. Grab your finest ModCloth dress, most retro looking e-cigarette, and those too tight vintage Ferragamos and huddle and cry with me.
I’m not entirely upset that Mad Men is ending. I get it. Shows can’t go on forever and ever…or can they? But where will I go now for my weekly dose of snazzy sixties fashion and poor parenting examples? Where will I go for inspiration for my desire to encase everything in jello? What will I do? How will I live??
And to top it off, the entire cast got all dolled up and just threw it back in my face, one last time, that they are the hottest and that there will be a large, fashionably dressed sized hole in my tv line-up. And before you say it, Better Call Saul does not qualify.
Images via Vanity Fair