Category: Life

Best Year Ever

Posted on by mildredlee in Life

This time of year everyone is all about the “Best of 2013” and what resolutions they’re going to make. But, even better than those lists, are the “Things You Should No Longer Be Doing” lists because you’re a woman, a man, a twenty-something, or a woman in her 30’s. Everyone seems to know everything now that the year’s over. Where were they on April 16th when you were sitting on your kitchen counter eating a whole tub of cookie dough because that dick from accounting didn’t call you back? They were off composing those lists of course.

I could join in the ranks and talk about how I’ve got all the answers and the key to how to make your 2014, THE BEST YEAR EVER! This year will be the year you find the slimmest you! You’re going to be so slim, no one will see you! This year everyone you know is going to knock down your door because you’re going to master these 10 recipes that every 28 year old needs to know by heart. Not only are you going to be skinny and strong and a master chef, but- wait for it- this year you’ll also find your dream guy!

That’s right folks. Everything in your life means nothing if you aren’t your slimmest you! That master’s degree program you’re in is bollocks if you don’t master a signature dish this year. Next Christmas, you’ll be the girl shoving her ring finger into the camera while your bitter single friend (so sad) plots your slow death.  And all you have to do in order to have the perfect life is stop doing these stupid things you’re doing and start doing the stupid things that [ insert random website name here] tells you that you need to do this year.

Well, my resolution is to not make any resolutions. I’m not worried about 2014 being the best year ever. 2014 can just be straight up mediocre for all I care. I’m already a great cook. My body is just fine the way the it is; although I do plan to get back into exercising more. I don’t want 2014 to be the year I keel over from a heart attack because of all the burgers, cheese, and beer I consume.  I guess I should run or something.

My one goal for 2014 is to make it through it alive. My bar is so low, it’s a line on the crappy linoleum floor in my mother’s kitchen. Meeting my dream guy online has nothing to do with that goal. 2014 is the year I refuse to try online dating EVER AGAIN. My dream guy is not on OKcupid or Plenty of Fish, asking me how much I like sneakers.

Dreamboat: Hey, your hot
Me: Thanks
Dreamboat: what r u doin?
Me: Nothing. What are you doing?
Dreamboat: just got back from the mall. got some new sneakers.
Me: Sneakers are cool. 
Dreamboat: yea   wanna make out?
Me: no [delete]

2013 was the year I found all the places my dream guy is not located. Here’s a comprehensive list:

Plenty of Fish
OKCupid
eHarmony
Match
Baltimore County libraries
Baltimore City libraries
Target
AMC theaters
Barnes & Noble (though I did get hit on my an older fellow who told me I looked “Good”)
Wegmans
Whole Foods
Local gas stations
Random chain restaurants
Flea/farmer’s markets
Local liquor stores

Now, while I am obviously super bummed I didn’t meet my dream guy at any of the above listed destinations of love, the farmer’s market kinda stung. I figured my dream guy would go to the farmer’s market and get cool sausages and fresh peppers to cook. I was so wrong. So horribly wrong.  You know what kind of guy hangs out at the farmer’s market? Guys with girlfriends. Or guys with wives and 2.5 kids in huge strollers that take up all the available space and are blocking my access to Zeke’s coffee. Can I just get a pound of Tell Tale Dark and an iced coffee without having to give your kid the stink eye?

So, I’m declaring 2014 to be the year I go to the farmer’s market without pretenses. 2014 will be the year I will stop rolling my eyes at the cute couples with their adorable interracial babies. No sarcasm here folks. Just a girl trying to get some kale and maybe a crepe. 2014 will be just another year, where things will either happen or not happen.  I’ll just be along for the ride.

Top 10 Reasons To Stay Up All Night Watching A Christmas Story

Posted on by mildredlee in Life

Yes my friends, it’s that time of year. So soon, you say. Wasn’t it just yesterday we were celebrating Labor Day and eating hotdogs in Aunt June’s back yard?

No, that was nearly four months ago, dude. Catch Up!.

Watching A Christmas Story ad nauseam on Christmas Eve is a time honored tradition and just because you’re nearly 30 does not mean you’re suddenly too good to sit up all night and watch this movie. Here are 10 reasons you’re going to skip that last shot at the bar and head home.

1. No matter where you live now, as soon as this movie starts, you’re immediately transported to the place you were when you first saw it.

2. You’ve always wondered what it would be like to stick your tongue to an aluminum pole.

3. You’ve tested it out by sticking your tongue to the ice in the ice cube tray- remember those?

4. You’ve always wanted a full size adult snow suit.

5. You have a whole case of seasonal beer that you need to finish before it goes bad.

6. Your coworker gave you a magnum bottle of wine for Secret Santa.
It’s not going to drink itself. 

7. Your mom never let you have a bebe gun, but now you’re of age to buy your own.

8. Your girlfriend/boyfriend/roommate/friend has never seen it and in order for them to continue being an upstanding citizen, you need to make them watch this movie.

9. It’s snowing outside.

10. It’s snowing outside and you’ve got a tub of cookie dough, hot chocolate, and a bottle of Bailey’s. What are you waiting for?

 

W Is For Winning

Posted on by mildredlee in Life

Back in 2006, when I was a freshman at FIT, I was a library clerk in the periodicals department of the library. My love of fashion magazines and catalogs is something that has always been with me, but when I was working at the library, that love grew 10 fold. I mean, come on! I was surrounded by books, magazines, catalogs and archived images from the beginning of fashion magazine time to present date. I was living the dream. I went home everyday from the library, arms piled high with magazines that we had duplicates of and tear outs from magazines that we didn’t need. I would gladly spend the entirety of my work shift organizing the stacks of look books and bound collections of back issues of Glamour and and Harper’s Bazaar. Sometimes when I look back at the sheer joy I had working in the periodicals department, I wonder why I didn’t see the connection. Makea+ magazines+ fashion= happiness!

Sigh, one can’t lament the past forever. I will make the best of my current situation and write off the past few years as a supreme learning and growth period. Something that I am doing now, with my laser focus on editorial photo spreads, is taking the time to study the magazine images that I find striking. While leisurely leafing through the September issue of W magazine, I was just blown away by this editorial photo spread:

I am not often moved by photo spreads. I may love the aesthetic of the images and the styling of the clothing, but not necessarily have a gut reaction to the pictures. I don’t know why I felt so strongly while looking at these images, but I did. And it reminded me of another W photo spread that I can only describe as breathtaking. In the July 2005 issue of W magazine, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie did the photo shoot to end all photo shoots: Domestic Bliss. I used to have a physical copy of this issue and I reluctantly recycled it. BUT!!!! I have the digital copies of the pictures and they will stay with me forever.

That time I posted a Craigslist Personals Ad

Posted on by mildredlee in Life

As a single gal, I have participated in what has been known as “online dating“. Fun stuff, right! I’ve tried them all: eHarmony, Match, okCupid, Plenty of Fish, How About We, and most recently, Tinder. Do I ever go out with anyone? No. Do I ever wink, nudge, flirt with anyone? Sure, sometimes. But for the most part I am indifferent. I really don’t think I am ready for dating. Or maybe I was ready about a year ago and now that I’ve surpassed the 2 year mark, I’ve become comfortable being single. There’s an ease to being single. I don’t have to think about anyone else. I don’t have to ask or seek confirmation before making plans. If I get a last minute text to do something or go somewhere, I just go. It’s pretty freaking awesome. But, I do miss the companionship. Sometimes.

About two years ago I was working at a non profit in Baltimore city and I had just stopped seeing a guy. We were still friends, but we no longer talked online during the workday. I understood why he didn’t want to do it anymore, but I was left trying to fill a void that was not being filled with work. My job was severely boring and just lacking in daily tasks and responsibilities. I had to find something to do that would occupy my mind while my body became petrified in my cubicle. So, I decided to venture onto Craigslist and post an ad in the Strictly Platonic section. I crafted a funny, witty ad that described myself and my job and what I was looking for out of this adventure. I repeated that I was not interested in sex and that I was not interested in sex. However, even the best laid plans….blah blah blah. I genuinely wanted to find someone I could have a few good conversations with. I wasn’t interested in exchanging photos (I stated that in my ad) and I wasn’t interested in meeting up right away. I did hint at the possibility of maybe going to a happy hour at some point way, way, way down the road. I hit send and I held my breath, waiting for a response. What happened?

I have never seen so many pictures of shirtless guys.

I was not impressed. Why so many bathroom photos? I mean, really? Besides not even being able to follow simple instructions, I was irritated that instead of wanting to engage in witty banter, they only wanted to know what I was wearing and why I hadn’t sent them a picture of me as well. Sigh

There were a few outliers that made my day- and inbox. I wish I had saved some of them and the ad to look back on when I’m elderly and trying to remember the good old days. I got the chance to be completely me without worrying about anything. I was able to be funny and smart and not really care if I said the wrong thing. I had weeks of great email exchanges with a varied selection of professional guys with interesting jobs. My favorites always opened with a compliment: Your ad was hilarious! Yep, that will do it. That will definitely make me change my email spam filters. I talked with a great guy from New York who worked as a graphic designer and sent me a picture of the rainy day view from his office window. He was a long time Craigslist peruser. When I asked him why he decided to check out Baltimore, he replied that a lot of the ads he responded to in New York turned out to thinly guised ads for soliciting sex. What is it about Strictly Platonic that people don’t understand? We exchanged a decent amount of emails and let it slowly fade away. I spoke to a number of other interesting dudes who shared great bands to check out, movies to see, and happy hour bars to try. All in all, it was a great experiment. And I learned something about myself. I learned that I can be me and not worry about what he thinks- whoever he happens to be at the time. I learned that there are plenty of great guys who will not send me photos of themselves, topless, posing in front of the bathroom mirror. I also learned that Craigslist’s Strictly Platonic message board means the exact opposite of platonic and people will proposition you for sex. Often. But, most importantly, I learned that I don’t need to force something to happen. Whenever the guy I’m supposed to meet is ready to show his face (no pressure), then we’ll randomly run into each other in the Whole Foods baked goods aisle. It’ll be lust at first reach for the dark chocolate walnut cookies. Browsing through Tinder can be a fun time killer, but I’ll probably delete the app after a few more days. I am still indifferent and I am honestly not planning to stay in the Baltimore area past this year, so why even bother? Now, what I will do is head over to Whole Foods, because now all I can think about are cookies.

VMAs 2013: My Eyes Cannot Unsee What They Have Seen

Posted on by mildredlee in Life

So, last night were the VMAs and like many kind folk, I was ready to (hopefully) enjoy an evening of entertainment and fun. I had recently got home from “running” a 5k and after showering and decompressing, I laid on my bed, dark chocolate Magnum ice cream bar in hand, and turned to MTv. Little did I know what lay ahead on the 2013 VMAs.

Like any red blooded American woman-of-a-certain-age, I was very much looking forward to the rumored NSYNC performance/reunion. Robin Thicke was performing, Lady Gaga was going to be doing stuff, and Katy Perry was slated to continue to force her music down our throats-this time from under a bridge! I hadn’t realized that Miley Cyrus was going to sing to twerk at the show. Had I known this, I would have adverted my eyes and found an eyelash that needed to be plucked. ANYTHING would have been better than sitting through THAT. Why Robin Thicke? Whyyyyy? 

I believe the whole world had this collective reaction:

ImageLiam, there is still time to walk away. This chick will totally disrupt the soothing calm that lays deep within your beautiful, beautiful eyes. In other words, chick is crazy. Sorry, not sorry.

Now, in more enjoyable, less traumatizing other news, Justin Timberlake got the Video Vanguard award. I mean, it was cool and all to see him perform like 20 songs for half an hour (wish I had known that was going to happen before I paid $125 for his Legends of Summer tour, but whatever).  However, the dude is only like 32 years old. He’s got another album coming out in a month. Shouldn’t awards like this be given at the end of one’s career and not during? But, hey, it got NSYNC back together, for albeit 5 minutes. IT. WAS. WORTH. IT.

Image

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis preached about equality and got J-Hud to join in and shut it down. And oh yea, Kanye danced in front of a screen and Drake did some things. Performances aside, VMA fashion is always a topic trending the next day. I mean, no one wore a meat dress this year. And Lil Kim “contained” her assets this time around, but there were still some distinctive outfits.

2013 VMAs Best Dressed:

Image
Holland Roden in Naeem Khan
Image
Macklemore and Ryan Lewis…Really wish Ryan had at least tried, but Macklemore makes up for him. This time.
Image
Robin Thicke and Paula Patton in Lever Couture

Image
Shailene Woodley

Honorable Mentions:

Image
Danity Kane- they’re baaaack!
Image
Selena Gomez in Versace
Image
Allison Wiliams in Valentino
Image
Jennifer Hudson in Dior

Alright kiddies, that’s all I got. Till next time.

We all float down here

Posted on by mildredlee in Life

Sorry for the cryptic title, but I truly love that line from that book. I made it roughly three quarters of the way through and I just couldn’t read it anymore. I saw clowns everywhere and they were not funny or cute or smiley. They were scary and freaky. However terrifying that reference is, it doesn’t stop it from popping up in my head every stinking time I step foot into the pool. The book has nothing to do with pools. But, that’s the way my mind works. Creepy experience + creepy line from book= Makea’s brain space.  #thisiswhyimsingle

I think the main reason why this reference sneaks its way to the forefront of my mind is because it serves as a reminder to me when I step into the pool. When in doubt, float. I have no qualms admitting that I am a 29 year old woman who has only known how to swim for the past two years. When I was 27 I finally drew up the nerve to register for Swimming Level I at my local community college. For the next three months I swam twice a week across the width of pool. Steadily learning new strokes and allegedly learning proper breathing techniques. We practiced diving, jumping in and retrieving items from the bottom of the pool. I perfected summersaults and flip turns. Things were looking good. Modern day Ester Williams over here! But when I decided to go for Swimming Level II, things took a turn downhill. My desire to perfect my stroke drastically diminished with the changing season. A whole year had passed since I completed level one and I just didn’t care anymore. It didn’t help that I was taking Swimming Level II in the fall. I was being forced to don a bathing suit and swim cap when I would normally insulate myself with corduroys, cable knit sweaters and leather boots.  I began to tell myself that it was okay if I skipped Monday night’s class because it was too cold to walk back from the gym to my car. It’s totally cool that I stay right here on the couch instead of going to Wednesday night’s class. Law and Order is coming on in an hour. It’s part two from last week’s cliffhanger. I can’t miss this episode. I kept along this way until I only had two weeks left and I just stopped going altogether. I had the basics down. Who was I kidding? I was never going to transform into Michael Phelps (I thought about using Ryan Lochte, but even Ryan Lochte wants swim like Michael Phelps).

This summer as I wade into the shallow end of the pool at my friend’s-parents-grandmother’s-neighbor’s house, I hold my head high. I have on my new red J.Crew bikini after all. And as I tie my silk scarf on my head and I bask in the sun, I drink my Tom Collins (thanks MomMom!) and feel at peace. There is no need to prove myself by knocking out laps up and down the pool. I’m a lounger and I was meant to lounge. And I make lounging look good.

beach-We all float image

Just do it?

Posted on by mildredlee in Life

So recently there was this Times cover and corresponding article that talked about how more and more couples are delaying having kids in favor of –shocker- just being a married couple. Now, I can’t tell you everything that was said in this article, mainly because I don’t subscribe to Time magazine and I have yet to make myself venture over to the business/news section of the magazine rack. The fashion glossies are just too darn distracting. However, I do appreciate Time taking the time to broach this subject. I can see myself as part of this young couple on the cover-sans the matching swimsuits. My future husband and I, living life, being content to just be with each other. I think I would be fine with that, because honestly my clock is not ticking. At. All. It may be broken?

As a 29 year old female, I have recently been plagued with questions and concerns regarding my reproductive aspirations/goals/desires/wants. People (read: men) seem fascinated that I am not in the least bit crumbling in agony over the depleting state of my egg count. How can I be so calm? What will you do when you’re old and alone? Think about the children!! Will you not think about the children?!?!? Geesh people! Calm yourselves. I will be just fine in my fabulous, old age. I know it may be shocking (!) but not every girl/woman/lady/female is just twiddling her thumbs, bidding her time until she can reproduce. I used to think I wanted a house full of kids. Then I realized how much they cost as compared to say, birth control. I trimmed back some on the final number of kiddies I somewhat desired. I began to think two would suffice. Maybe a boy and a girl. Maybe two boys. Who knows? Twins run in my family on my father’s side- he was a twin and then his mother had two more twin boys- so it could happen to me too. But honestly, the older I get, the more I don’t care. I am not opposed to kids, I am indifferent. I have friends who are shining examples of domestic bliss. They have it all: careers, houses, spouses, and offspring. But I don’t envy them or ruefully wish it were me instead. I am thrilled for them. I love the showers and cakes and happy moments that you get to partake in when your friends reproduce. Besides, I have my own ambitions. Everything that I want to accomplish in life, currently has nothing to do with babyGap.

I have other plans, dammit. I have goals and dreams, and …..oh, shoes!

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