All the babes at Cannes

Oh hey there! Long time, no write. Or is it long time, no type? Either way, it’s been a cool minute since I last clicked the clacking keyboard and poured out my brain to you diligent followers. My apologies!

Let’s see, since I last blogged, I have started a job search, started an apartment search, held multiple showings at my old lovely apartment, found a new apartment, moved, and held a housewarming party.

Oh, the joys of life…yay!

But, let’s get back to the reason for which I had to make 3 password attempts: CANNES!

I would love it if I were somehow able to one day attend Cannes, but it’s not like I have a well written, soon to be highly acclaimed screenplay sitting on my desk at home. Nor do I have an amazing, gut-wrenching movie just chilling on my laptop’s hard drive. So, I must lurk the interwebs and drool over Getty images.

** Side note** Let’s remember to circle back to the awesome FX miniseries about the Getty family/grandson kidnapping called TRUST later.

So, as I was saying, I should be at Cannes, but instead, I am sitting in my office on JHU’s Homewood campus, staring out the window at the crappy, dreary weather. Life is not fair.

So far, my hands down favorite look from Cannes is Thandie Newton’s Star Wars dress at the film’s premiere at the festival.

(Photo by Antony Jones/Getty Images for Disney)
(Photo by Mike Marsland/Mike Marsland/WireImage)
(Photo credit should read John Rasimus / Barcroft Media via Getty Images)

In all honesty, the entire crew polished up real nice for the red carpet.

Chewbacca, Donald Glover, Alden Ehrenreich, Emilia Clarke, Ron Howard, Woody Harrelson, Thandie Newton, Joonas Suotamo and Simon Emanuel. (Photo by Stephane Cardinale – Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images)
(Photo by Antony Jones/Getty Images for Disney)
(Photo credit: LOIC VENANCE/AFP/Getty Images)
71st Cannes Film Festival
(Photo credit: REUTERS/Stephane Mahe)


Now on to the other show stoppers at Cannes.

Jasmine Tookes (Photo by Mike Marsland/Mike Marsland/WireImage)
Sofia Boutella (Photo by Venturelli/WireImage)
Helen Mirren (Photo by George Pimentel/WireImage)
Chris Lee (Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images)
Cate Blanchett (Photo by Dominique Charriau/WireImage)
Lupita Nyong’o (Plaire, Aimer Et  (Photo by Gisela Schober/Getty Images)
Bruna Marquezine(Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)
Julianne Moore  (Photo by LOIC VENANCE / AFP) (Photo credit should read LOIC VENANCE/AFP/Getty Images)
Winnie Harlow (Photo by Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images for Kering)

007: High Tide

The year is 2020 and we find James Bond mid pursuit of an unknown assailant. A high speed chase in luxurious sports cars ensues and before you know it, Bond has trapped the bad guy in a dead end alley. Car doors fly open. Commence fist to cuffs rumble. High energy techno music blasts through the speakers in the theater as Bond gets down and dirty with the still unknown bad guy. Who’s going to come out on top? The suspense is killing you! The fight is intense and you start to think Bond may have finally met his match. Blood is flowing. Sweat is pouring. Clothes are ripped and torn away to reveal swatches of skin.

Bond is thrown down and looks to be out of commission. The bad guy looms over him and begins to smile. The techno music gets eerily quiet and you hear nothing. Bond has his eyes closed. The soon to be killer is already starting to celebrate. He is relishing in his moment. You think all is lost, until…..what’s that? Footsteps? It takes the bad guy two seconds too long to realize that the end is indeed very near.

He turns around quickly, but not quickly enough. He catches a quick jab to the throat. The mystery person is leaning down, looking at Bond. You still can’t see their face. All you hear is Bond’s faint breathing. The camera pans back and finally you see….her. She is tall and fit, wearing all black and leather boots. Her hand grazes Bond’s face and then she slaps him. He comes to instantly. She smiles.

(fade to black and commence 007: High Tide theme song, performed by Muse)

Bond and mystery Bond girl proceed to fill the movie screen with 120 minutes of high flying adventure and white knuckle excitement. There are even more high speed chases. And because this installment of the Bond Series involves a crooked marine biologist, there are also poisoned fish supplies and deep sea diving quests. You laugh, and if you’re like me, you cry, and then you leave the movie theater wishing you had an English accent and new wardrobe.

Don’t want to wait until 007: High Tide comes out? Good, you don’t have to. Also, it’s a fake movie that I haven’t written (yet?). However, Bond girl’s wardrobe is all yours…for a price. Herve Leger by Max Azria Resort 2014 collection features everything a badass, deep sea swimming Bond girl would need.


Looking Hot

Lupita Nyong’O is in the movie of the year and one of the best movies I’ve seen this past decade. 12 Years A Slave is groundbreakingly good. I’m pretty sure I just made up a word there, but whatever. I think it’s safe to say we’ll be seeing a lot of Lupita in the years to come, which is good on two fronts: she’s an amazing actress and she has amazing style. Move over Marion Cotillard, I’ve got a new red carpet crush.